so yeah, i realized all my dreams about being a freshman in college, moving into the dorms again -- they are all telling me that i have to deal some more with that time in my life. at first, i always thought it meant i missed being young, and wanted to experience that again. but it's also (and more so) about that time period being so painful due to all the mistakes i made. and i really haven't thought about them, deeply, in such a long time. so until i do, i think i will continue to have this unresolveable nostalgia, these recurring, unsatisfying dreams... the feeling of wistfulness will evolve into pain, anger, resentment, then hopefully understanding, forgiveness, peace. I hope.