meeting mitten tomorrow. i'm getting pretty nervous, have no idea what to wear and, admittedly, am a bit worried about getting rejected in front of j. that would be even more humiliating than all those new VGs I'm forced to play in front of him for the first time while he skins up! hehehehe...

however (and here's the semi-silver lining), i've learned that they get 40-60 model applications a day (not just mitten, but SG in aggregate) and accept maybe 5% or fewer. so i ask myself, why not look at this as "wow, i got this far without even having any tattoos, being 10 yrs older than most of the girls, and only being into all this kind of soft-core shit for... i dunno... 2 weeks?!?!?!" hehehehhee indeed.

ahhh... my life. all about putting myself in positions where i must rely heavily on my reserves of self-acceptance, courage, audacity and honesty. quite a ride. but i'm hanging on!